Day 4 – Picture Inspiration

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Even though the top left picture speaks to me the most, I’m going to try to write something for the bottom left picture.

There is always these books, songs and movies that are about jumping into life. They try to encourage people to be the person who is jumping into the water without a care in the world. They try to tell you how life is going to go by quickly and how you don’t want to miss out on all the adventures.

Nicole always agreed with them but that didn’t always change her behaviour. She was more likely to be the person who was watching stunned from the sidelines. She was envious of people who had that kind of energy and that lack of fear.She read the stories about people who were in fatal car accidents or people who were diagnosed with cancer or Alzheimer’s early in life and how they would think back on their life with the “what if” and the regrets.

Nicole didn’t exactly work like that though. She never thought that she would regret not being in the spotlight because that’s not who she was. And if she was trying to be that person who was jumping in the middle, all of her friends would know that she was out of place. That she was trying to be something that she’s not.

Sometimes she would travel on her own. And for those few days with those few people, she could pretend to be someone else. She could pretend to be the spontaneous fun-loving girl who didn’t make plans of what she was going to be doing on her travels. And for those 72 hours, it was the most fun. But after that, she would go back home to her friends and be the person that she knew she was supposed to be.

Everyone has their own personality and their own way of living life to the fullest. What some people would think is a dream vacation others might feel like it was a waste of time. Nicole was someone who liked to have the balance of free and structured time. Nicole had a few friends who would take up the spotlight and she was more than willing to let them do that. There can only be one star in a play but there still needs to be a number of supporting roles. And everyone’s play is a little bit different – a star in one play can be the villain in another.

Living in the moment doesn’t exactly mean living in the center of attention. It means finding quality in each experience. And maybe not spending every night in bed by 10 p.m..

Nicole found meaning in making a lot of her own decorations for her home. She was usually the person that would give a hand-made gift for birthdays or holidays but you only knew it was handmade because it was from her, the quality was not a give away at all. She liked to reuse things. She liked to put a lot of thought into her gifts… find a new purpose for something that others would throw away.


I think the reason that the top left picture speaks to me most is because I typically enjoy spending time on my own. I would not go so far as to describe myself as an introvert but with the nature of my job, sometimes I just like to try to be alone on a day off. I also usually struggle with getting large groups of people together which might be why I wasn’t automatically drawn to the picture that I used for the inspiration of this little story. Obviously not very strong but just trying to get some writing in today.

Hope

She was what most would call an optimist. She showed up most places with a bubbly nature and a smile across her face. She tried to see the best in every situation. Even when it wasn’t a favourable outcome, she found an unexpected good that came from the surprise or disappointment. It wasn’t always blind optimism and sometimes she was jaded but nonetheless, she wanted to think the best of people. She wanted to give people a chance.

She won an award in high school for being positive in light of difficult situations. The teacher that nominated her for was probably too aware of what was actually going on in her life. She went everyday to school with her head held high even though her father suddenly passed away, her sister was fighting with their mom and her mom was barely eating a meal. She maintained this motivation into university and into the workforce. She just wanted it all to be worth it one day. What it would look like to be “worth it” is still a work in progress but she learned the lesson early that life is what you make it and she didn’t see the point in not enjoying life. Even though a dark cloud seemed to follow her from time to time (particularly at work when the desk would blow up when she came too close haha).

Sometimes she would get sad. It was mostly on days that she was alone for too many hours (it was the one thing that reminded her how she really was an extrovert). She could spend a whole day off alone with a book, get lost inside of it, only to be sad when it was over. It made her feel like she was reading what others did with their lives and not fully living her own. She truly noticed how she was defined by her job.

Hope made her feel like her life was filled with possibilities and maybe that was her eternal downfall. To choose something meant denying something else. She was nervous about making the right decision – something about the Type “A” personality within her. She tried to calm herself that even if the best decision wasn’t made, there would be something good that would come from the situation.

She always had a back up plan. That was where you could tell that she wasn’t a blind optimist – she was aware of some of the risks associated in her life and felt better when she had something ready to counteract any negative experience. That was her best way of making sure she wasn’t going to feel a negative impact because she had another ace up her sleeve.

 

I think I’m losing my mind now, it’s in my head

Darling I hope that you’ll be here when I need you the most

So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me down

Don’t let me down

 

 


 

This was day three of the daily inspiration challenge. I know it’s been about three weeks but between my 12 hour shifts and trying to travel plan (I have 2 trips in the next 2 months so I’m trying to work all of the overtime, plan my trip and maintain my life haha).

Ultimately, this was a bit of a third person autobiography haha. I was trying to write about myself in a more objective manner. I like to think that I’m a positive and hopeful person but there are breaking points to hope. For me, I think it’s the limitless possibilities. I don’t like making decisions because it inevitably means I’ve decided against something else. Nonetheless, I remain hopeful that the end situation will be good. If it’s not good, then it means it isn’t over yet.

And the lyrics fit in with the word (I realized this after I started writing my post) and it’s a song with which I have recently become quite obsessed.

Write a List

So I’m currently working on Day 2 of the #everydayinspiration emails. (Yes, I’m currently getting emails for Day 13 but it’s been a busy few days). The inspiration today is to write a list.

Most who know me or are around me might notice my habit of continually making lists. I am quite a big fan of to-do lists. I find that they keep me focused. However, I’m going to try to spin this into a different direction. I’ve read some pinterest posts about “bullet journalling” and one of them included a recommendation to write a “done” list rather than a “to do” list. The rationale of looking at what’s already done, focusing on the positive by looking at the glass half full rather than stressing yourself out with what is left to do.

You’ll notice that today is August 31. A lot of people are saying that the summer is over and the news is talking about going back to school. Granted, I am no longer a student and do not have kids so school isn’t really something that’s on my brain. Nonetheless, I am noticing how summer is coming to a close. It’s hard to enjoy summer when some of your friends aren’t there to enjoy the weather.

Well, today I am writing a “done” list of my summer this far.

  1. Traveled to New Orleans
    • Beginning of summer trip to kick it all off!
    • It was a cool few days to explore a new city, have some new types of food and drink and have great laughs with a good friend.
  2. Visited Tobermory
    • This was my real only “getaway” this summer.
    • I went swimming in Georgian Bay (which was cold but oh so cool)
    • Went hiking all along Flowerpot Island
    • A little getaway for my best friend and I 🙂
  3. Went to Wonderland with my sister
    • This is a fun yearly tradition. It’s so expensive but it’s so much fun (minus waiting a whole hour for a burger…)
  4. Read quite a few books
    • I spent many days off this summer reading in my backyard – I got some interesting burns and some interesting tan lines and was able to fill my mind with new sorts of knowledge.
    • Notable books this summer:
      • Beautiful You – Chuck Palahniuk
      • Harry Potter & The Cursed Child – J.K. Rowling et al.
      • The Stranger – Harlen Coben
      • The Girl on the Train – Paula Hawkins
      • Spinster – Kate Bolick
  5. Did lots of hiking
    • I’ve become minorly obsessed with Smokey Hollow – it’s so close and so amazing.
    • Today, I went to Elora Gorge with a friend – a bit further away and I’m glad we got to see some of the sights but not somewhere I would rush back
    • Tiffany Falls in Ancaster – a cute little hike when I didn’t feel like going home
  6. Started watching HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother)
    • Yes, I’m a little behind the times but I just finished Season 3 and am quite enjoying so far!
  7. Booked some trips
    • A trip to Thailand was booked for October!!!
    • And a trip to British Columbia was booked for September to go visit a friend
  8. Donated to a good cause
    • My sister won a trip to go help build houses (the location has now been changed to India). I’m proud that I was able to donate a sizable amount to help her achieve this goal.
  9. Went to open houses and private house showings
    • I am slowly dipping my toe into the real estate market. Granted, the market is beyond insane so far this summer but just trying to get a feel of what I like and what I don’t like
    • I have a great realtor who is beyond patient with me and I’m very thankful
    • It’s overwhelming to look at the numbers and try to think of what my life is going to be like when I do finally find a place that I love
  10. Made some new friends
    • I’m a lot more comfortable with the people I work with – I’m starting to see them as my second family. There are people I confide for advice on different topics and am more open about my life
    • I’m making an effort to keep in touch with people so I can see them on my random days off. Trying to achieve a balance of work/life balance.

So summer 2016, not too shabby, not too shabby. I am glad for my experiences and am excited to try to bring this excitement into the fall and winter.

Happy summer and happy list-ing!

I write because…

I write because it’s a way to organize my thoughts. As people can possibly tell from reading my blog (or maybe it’s just my own criticisms of my own writing) but my writing seems to come out a little disorganized. I try my best to edit before I hit publish but even as I reread my own posts, I can see better ways to organize my thoughts. Nonetheless, writing gives me an opportunity to blurt out all of my thoughts at once. When I get really into it, I can figure out what’s going on in my subconscious mind. For some reason, this can be very difficult for me and so I find writing a very important part of my life.

I write in the hopes that one day I will be able to provide a thought-provoking blog post or short story or novel that will one day inspire another person. Even just one person. I think I would like to get into fiction writing (but instead I forever blog about my own personal life – my own flaw that I need to work on). It would just be so cool to me to have my own original idea and my own world that I’ve created on my own. And yet at the same time, I think that everyone’s reality is a little bit different just based on their own perspective.

Side note: do we see the disorganization in the above paragraph? Do I want to edit it? yes. But it would be counter productive as proof of why I need to edit and why I like to write.

I’ve always been a strong writer. I wrote a lot of short stories back when I was in elementary school. When I was in high school, I wrote poetry, songs and even plays. And then in university, I just went to academic writing. University seemed to kill my love for reading and writing because it turned it into something so professional and disciplined. It’s something that I eventually learned to love (another little tidbit about me – if someone would pay me my current salary to do my Masters of Arts and PhD, I would totally go for it – that’s how truly nerdy I am) but writing in the creative fashion is still something that I’m trying to get back. It’s a slow process. I have combined my love of academic reading and fiction reading and alternate reading these types of books. Doing this #everydayinspiration challenge with Word Press is my way of trying to get into writing again. I can admit right now – I will not be writing a post everyday. I am saving the emails and going to do them in order and likely be writing once or twice per week. That’s a lot better than writing a post every few weeks.

Maybe if I do more blogging (which to me is more like journal-ling but again, it’s a start), then it will lead to me do some fiction writing. Ideally some short stories. I just need to find some inspiration for characters and what message I want to send out to the universe.

I write because it makes me feel like a more well rounded person. I don’t know if that’s a great answer but it’s the answer that I’ve got tonight for my lovely readers.

Hair Style Personality Quiz

Okay, readers! Pop quiz.

How is your hair currently styled? (Sorry to any male readers, I think this mostly applies to females but you can try it out and let me know if it works or not)

A) In a ponytail/messy bun or other “easy” hairstyle

B) In a fancy up-do

C) Natural and down

D) Polished with hair styling tools and left down


 

If you answered:

A) In a ponytail/messy bun etc.: You are a busy, on-the-go type of person. You sometimes pack your social and business calendar too tight but you can’t bear the thought of missing out on an exciting opportunity. You might be athletic, you might not have the patience, skill or time to properly do your hair. It’s pretty typical but you always seem to rock it.

B) In a fancy up-do: You like to take care of yourself. You might even go so far as to pamper yourself. You understand the importance of first impressions and know that you can meet someone important around any corner. Others tend to be in awe of your skill and abilities and those translate beyond hair. You have great attention to detail and always take your time to properly do each task. Your meticulous work ethic translates to your personal and professional life.

C) Natural and down: You might be a bit of a hippy chick. You maybe are a bit of an environmentalist and a go-with-the-flow type of person. You don’t want to let people believe that you’re something you’re not. You would never dream of lying on your resume or in an interview. You are likely comfortable with who you are as a person and have a bit of a “take it or leave it” mentality when it comes to others not being a fan of you. You embrace who you are and who others are which is why most people are a fan of you.

D) Polished with hair styling tools and left down: You find it fun to prime yourself up. Similar to people who wear fancy up-dos, you know the importance of first impressions and like to be ready for pictures at any moment. You know how to look good without making it look like you spent too much time. You think that when you look good, you feel good and will project a different type of confidence. You have great technical skills and  a good balance between personal and professional life. People look up to you as a role model because you know how to look good without making it look like you put in a lot of effort.


This is just my own take on a personality quiz. By no means do I have a degree or any education in psychology. It was just a thought that had occurred to me one day as I was getting ready for work.

To get to know me a little bit better – the answer to my current hair style is – A : in a ponytail/messy bun. When I am on shifts (I do 3-4 in a row), my hair is almost consistently going to be naturally left down or be put into a ponytail. I feel the most comfortable when it is in a ponytail. (Even though you would think it would be most comfortable being left down and left natural, I think it’s just easier to have it in a ponytail).

This post was also partly inspired by a co-worker of mine. It’s funny because when I work with her, her hair is constantly like mine and either in a messy bun or in a ponytail. Yet on the posts that I follow of hers on Instagram, her hair is always straightened and down. So it was just a bit of a take on different personalities as well as how different social circumstances can affect your current personality.

There are some people, like my mother, who have their hair in the same style everyday. My mother would fall into category D. She’s always ready for a picture with her primed hair and make-up but she is definitely a great role model for having that balance between professional and personal.

Hopefully I didn’t offend anybody with this post and you got to think about how hairstyle can reflect personality and the bigger picture in life.

Sleepless

I’m having a difficult time knowing whether I’ve just screwed up my internal sleeping pattern or whether something is bothering me more than I want to admit.

For the most part, my life is reaching a calm that is in uncharted waters for me. I have a stable, full-time position  that I really do love (even if I complain while I’m there, if I’m going to have to do something for work, I can see no better fit). I have good friends and am starting to look at real estate to fully establish my adult status. (In actuality, I don’t want to establish this adult identity but society seems to think that being 24 and still living at home is a little tragic).

The last 3 nights have been difficult for me. I can be exhausted upon getting back in the house and yet upon getting into my bed, I stay perfectly awake. I’m watching the same shows or movies that usually lull me to sleep; nothing in my caffeine intake has greatly increased. Still. I stay awake even when I am counting down the hours to work.

What I don’t want to admit is how I’m not sure what’s happening with this guy. I was supposed to see this guy this weekend and neither one of us texted each other. And we still haven’t texted each other. It’s almost like we don’t want to admit to each other that we like each other. Or maybe he’s actually not interested, didn’t keep the plan in his calendar and isn’t losing any sleep over it. Maybe he hasn’t even thought of my name or face.

I hate to admit further is how I actually really like this guy. We have known each other for quite some time and I guess that something in my brain has hyped this up. That’s why I’m trying to save face.

Maybe I know the answer of my sleepless nights.

Hopefully I find some internal peace and make it to sleep with more than 5 hours sleep before my next shift… whether that internal peace is just from me getting over it, from hearing from him or getting the courage to actually message him first.

Happy sleep to all of you! xo

Dear Future Me

I came across a blogger who was fulfilling a challenge of writing to yourself exactly 12 months from now. So here goes nothing.

So dear 25 year old me,

I wonder if you’ve been on anymore adventures. I wonder what you’ve learned over the last 365 days. I wonder what new questions you have uncovered that keep you up at night. Have you been playing the piano at all? Or been watching new documentaries and series that you randomly find on Netflix? How is the writing going? Where are you living? What car are you driving? Are you dating?

Did you celebrate International Women’s Day a few months ago? How about Earth Hour? Or International Day of Happiness? Is your hair longer? What are the latest additions to your wardrobe?

It feels odd to write to myself a year from now. In one way, it feels like such a short period of time. Like I should be able to say that you have written that novella (or novel if you’re feeling really inspired) or learned five new classical pieces on the piano. And by the same stretch, it’s barely anytime at all. I can think of how quickly the days, weeks and months can pass by. I can barely believe that in a week, it will be August.

I think that’s what scares me the most about time and feeling the tensions of the shortness and longevity of a year because then it might just be how my life slips away in front of me without being able to accomplish all my dreams.

Today started with a hike with my friend and her dog. We got in almost 10,000 steps (per my phone which might not be the most accurate) before noon. We also got a great picture of a waterfall that I never knew existed. Will this memory come up on my Facebook in a year and I’ll remember this day fondly? Would I remember it without the social media reminder?20160727_102459.jpg

Are you getting more excited or more anxious as you approach 26? Did you keep up with the Birthday Bucket List? What things have you achieved and which goals are you still striding towards? Do you still like going into work?

Overall, I’m doing just fine. Starting to approach more of the adult things in life like buying a home. Dating isn’t anything special but I don’t really stress out too often. My friends are still amazing and I’m glad I’ve been able to keep so many contacts current in my life.

Best of luck to myself over the next 365 days. Who knows what will happen but I am surely curious to see the end result.

-Rach