Sexual Chemistry or Sexual Skill

Hello fellow young adults!

So prior to writing a new post, I went through some of my drafts that I’ve had saved for how long. And then I found this one – it was mostly written, what I thought was an interesting topic and still relevant. So I’ve edited and added to this post but the majority of the ideas were from February.

Further to my post back in February (The Politics of Dating), I wrote about my experience on a second date. Originally, I focused a lot about some of the discussions that we had at the beginning of the date. I left out the second half of the date – the stuff that happened in the bedroom.

No, we did not sleep together. Not that I wouldn’t do it on a second date but it was just not something on my mind.

Yet everything else that we did was spectacular. And I mean “Oh” my gosh.

This was a thought that lingered in my mind for at least a week after our second date. It made me feel like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and The City except I wasn’t going to get paid to finish this blog post, which is probably why it had to sit for 9 months before I looked at it again. Nevertheless…

Was my great experience because we have good sexual chemistry or because he has good sexual skill?

This boy in question has a fairly experienced number of partners in my opinion. And I’m not trying to cast any sort of judgment because as many of my friends would indicate, it’s a learning process, self-discovery and really, just fun. As long as people are safe about protecting themselves, who am I to say what number of partners is too many for a person.

However, I still do need to believe that a certain number of partners would indicate a different level of skill. It’s different experience with different people – the opportunity to notice new trends and patterns and even new things to try out.

During the chat that this boy and I had when revealing our numbers, I expressed my surprise to his number. His response (wittingly), “was I so inept?”. And my reply, “no, I guess I was the inept one there”. And again, this is my own perception, but the more times you compete at an event, typically, the better you do. For example, the more swim meets that one attends, the more comfortable said person gets at diving into the pool, doing the flip turns, finishing at the wall etc.. And if they go to different pools, lets say, they learn about different formats of pools.

Fast forward to the present – this boy and I are no longer dating, we never slept together but we did have some fun. We didn’t work out, I think, because although the physical was great, we couldn’t catch up the emotional/intellectual connection to a place that I would like it to be. I actually remember going on a fourth or fifth date, hoping that we could find some common ground before I broke it off. I think it was relatively mutual.

I think that he was someone with a lot of sexual skill. My ex-lover (not even a serious relationship but the closest thing that I have) and I had a great combination of sexual chemistry and sexual skill. I think that’s the goal – to find someone who obviously knows that they’re doing but that just matches with your body.

Advertisements

The Wanderlust is Real

I got home from Thailand on October 26. It was a grueling flight home – I was sick, it was about 18 hours long, the food was terrible and my neck pillow was the absolute worst. We got to the airport, hopped into the first cab that we saw and made it home by 6pm local time. At which point, my mother looks at me and asks, “where to next?”. I couldn’t even help but give out an exhausted sigh and said, “I think I’m good for the year”.

And yet here I am, 3 weeks later, getting jittery because I don’t have my next adventure planned.

Maybe it sounds cliché but being in my mid 20s (exactly – I turned 25 while over in Thailand) with a stable job with a 28 day rotation, I need some type of excitement in my life. In the schedule that I’m in right now, there are 7 days that I am not scheduled to work (and before you go get your panties in a knot, there is a week that I work 6 out of 7 days). In those 7 days off, I typically pick up some overtime, do some groceries, hang out with friends and whatever other little jobs that I neglect while I’m on my schedule. That 7 days off though makes it the perfect opportunity to go travel.

One of the reasons that I’m not trying to plan my next travel adventure is because I’m in the pursuit of looking to buy a house. And being in Thailand for 2 weeks and not being able to look at houses before or after then probably caused me to lose out on a few bids. My original plan anyways was to wait until after Thailand to start very seriously looking for a house but this adventure just isn’t the same as looking up a million sights to see in a new country or trying to learn a new language. And the market right now is almost too fast for me to keep up and having only my income is not exactly working out in my favour (#singlegirlwoes).

Some of the places that I’m hoping to go next year is Costa Rica. I just really have this idea about surfing, volcanoes, laying at the beach… I think it could be the perfect combination of vacationing and travelling all in one beautiful destination.

Hopefully my wanderlust will calm down a bit and the housing market will work out in my favour so I don’t feel this nervousness about being in the same place for too long. In the mean time, I guess I should plan some day or weekend trips to keep myself afloat.

Anywhere that you’re planning on going to this year??

Ideas vs. Actions

I love the idea of writing a book but I don’t love the work required to write a book.

I love the idea of running a marathon but I don’t really love the idea of all the training that would be required.

I love the idea of loving winter but I don’t really like the idea of being outside when it’s cold out.


There are so many ideas that I have in my brain. Honestly. (For people who do know me, I’m not always a space case – there are sometimes thoughts going on upstairs… not all the time… hahaha). Yet there are so few ideas that I truly translate into practice.

That’s a huge issue with my generation (people born in the 90’s). We have so many ideas and we’re so open to new experiences but we can’t always pinpoint just one that we want to focus on. Our bucket lists are forever running and yet, how many of those items will we actually accomplish? And will we be sad with the ones that we don’t? Probably not – they were just something that sounded cool but we didn’t bother actually doing the research. Time is fleeting, this I know, and yet it feels like it will always be there. It doesn’t feel like it’s been another year of my life and yet, I’m a week away from being 25.

My generation is going to be one with a long resume from all the job switches. My generation will likely be able to say they’ve lived in four different cities within ten years. My generation is not going to slow down gently. We want to have everything as soon as it crosses our mind. I’m curious to see what retirement looks like for my generation and whether we’ll have the physical strength and monetary support to live the way that we want. What is going to happen to debt and mortgages as my generation continues to age?

I sometimes try to be focused. I try to have specific goals that I work towards as the days go on. I try to have some meaning in the everyday rather than letting the days pass me by. On the last point, though, I will admit that I spend some time waiting for the next travel adventures that I’m about to go on. For example, I leave for Thailand tomorrow! Travel is something that has given my life that clarity that I was talking about – how sometimes it’s worth staying in so many days a week so I can go out on these grand adventures.

My latest accomplishment in enjoying the everyday is the fact that I have picked up more books in the last 6 months than I probably did within the 6 years of post-secondary education. I have rediscovered my love of reading and I’m so thrilled that it was one idea that I was able to put into practice. My library card is definitely getting its full use and my brain is happy for the influx of new ideas. I’m hoping that this new habit (along with this occasional habit of writing in this blog) will help assist me towards writing a book one day. That’s also why I’m trying to gather up new experiences – to give me clarity and new perspectives for writing a story one day.

Who knows that other ideas I might be able to work towards. I’m a work in progress but I still try.

Unexpected Relief

I always like when there’s an unexpected positive result from something that seems inconvenient.

To clarify: I am very close to going over my data plan for the month. I have never come close but due to uploading pictures onto my Google Drive over data (rather than being patient and waiting until I got home), I have spent the last week in a continuing awareness of my data consumption on my phone. And because of this awareness and not wanting to pay a stupid amount of money for random overage charges, I have turned my data off for the majority of the time. And when I’m at home, I am connected to our wireless and therefore, not using any data.

The result? I am on my phone way less! And actually enjoying life a little bit more.

I’ve told a few key people (my real estate agent mostly) that they need to let me know if they are sending me an email. And whether it’s time sensitive or not. I still turned on my data today while on break at work so I could check an email about a potential house offer but then afterwards, I turned it right back off. And I turned on my data a few times during night shifts to play a couple rounds of Words with Friends and check a few posts of IG and FB but I’m not spending the whole time looking at Pinterest (something that I probably spend way too much time doing). I turn on my data, check my notifications and then move on with my day. I don’t spend a whole lot of time checking to see if I have notifications – because once I know that they’re there, they bother the corners of my mind like I’m making someone wait for a response. Why should I feel like that kind of pressure with social media? I don’t think I need to feel the burden of being available to people 24/7. Yet it’s a new cultural norm with this overly accessible technology.

My plan refreshes on Tuesday so I am not worried that I’m going to go over my data at all. And sure, would it have been nice to be able to snapchat this featured picture? Yeah for sure but it’s not like I need to show people a moment to moment glimpse of what I’m doing in my day. I was able to upload it to my IG and FB when it was more time appropriate and got to spend the time with my friend rather than trying to find the best filter and hashtags for the occasion.

I feel like I’m a lot more disconnected from social media and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I am no longer “up to date” with all the Instagram photos or Facebook posts from all of my friends. I feel like I’m more of a human being rather than just a drone watching a screen.

Overall, will I probably turn my data back on starting on Tuesday? Yes. But I’m hoping that these changes of not being on my phone while I am out and about will continue.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadians out here

🙂 xo

Hair Style Personality Quiz

Okay, readers! Pop quiz.

How is your hair currently styled? (Sorry to any male readers, I think this mostly applies to females but you can try it out and let me know if it works or not)

A) In a ponytail/messy bun or other “easy” hairstyle

B) In a fancy up-do

C) Natural and down

D) Polished with hair styling tools and left down


 

If you answered:

A) In a ponytail/messy bun etc.: You are a busy, on-the-go type of person. You sometimes pack your social and business calendar too tight but you can’t bear the thought of missing out on an exciting opportunity. You might be athletic, you might not have the patience, skill or time to properly do your hair. It’s pretty typical but you always seem to rock it.

B) In a fancy up-do: You like to take care of yourself. You might even go so far as to pamper yourself. You understand the importance of first impressions and know that you can meet someone important around any corner. Others tend to be in awe of your skill and abilities and those translate beyond hair. You have great attention to detail and always take your time to properly do each task. Your meticulous work ethic translates to your personal and professional life.

C) Natural and down: You might be a bit of a hippy chick. You maybe are a bit of an environmentalist and a go-with-the-flow type of person. You don’t want to let people believe that you’re something you’re not. You would never dream of lying on your resume or in an interview. You are likely comfortable with who you are as a person and have a bit of a “take it or leave it” mentality when it comes to others not being a fan of you. You embrace who you are and who others are which is why most people are a fan of you.

D) Polished with hair styling tools and left down: You find it fun to prime yourself up. Similar to people who wear fancy up-dos, you know the importance of first impressions and like to be ready for pictures at any moment. You know how to look good without making it look like you spent too much time. You think that when you look good, you feel good and will project a different type of confidence. You have great technical skills and  a good balance between personal and professional life. People look up to you as a role model because you know how to look good without making it look like you put in a lot of effort.


This is just my own take on a personality quiz. By no means do I have a degree or any education in psychology. It was just a thought that had occurred to me one day as I was getting ready for work.

To get to know me a little bit better – the answer to my current hair style is – A : in a ponytail/messy bun. When I am on shifts (I do 3-4 in a row), my hair is almost consistently going to be naturally left down or be put into a ponytail. I feel the most comfortable when it is in a ponytail. (Even though you would think it would be most comfortable being left down and left natural, I think it’s just easier to have it in a ponytail).

This post was also partly inspired by a co-worker of mine. It’s funny because when I work with her, her hair is constantly like mine and either in a messy bun or in a ponytail. Yet on the posts that I follow of hers on Instagram, her hair is always straightened and down. So it was just a bit of a take on different personalities as well as how different social circumstances can affect your current personality.

There are some people, like my mother, who have their hair in the same style everyday. My mother would fall into category D. She’s always ready for a picture with her primed hair and make-up but she is definitely a great role model for having that balance between professional and personal.

Hopefully I didn’t offend anybody with this post and you got to think about how hairstyle can reflect personality and the bigger picture in life.

Dear Future Me

I came across a blogger who was fulfilling a challenge of writing to yourself exactly 12 months from now. So here goes nothing.

So dear 25 year old me,

I wonder if you’ve been on anymore adventures. I wonder what you’ve learned over the last 365 days. I wonder what new questions you have uncovered that keep you up at night. Have you been playing the piano at all? Or been watching new documentaries and series that you randomly find on Netflix? How is the writing going? Where are you living? What car are you driving? Are you dating?

Did you celebrate International Women’s Day a few months ago? How about Earth Hour? Or International Day of Happiness? Is your hair longer? What are the latest additions to your wardrobe?

It feels odd to write to myself a year from now. In one way, it feels like such a short period of time. Like I should be able to say that you have written that novella (or novel if you’re feeling really inspired) or learned five new classical pieces on the piano. And by the same stretch, it’s barely anytime at all. I can think of how quickly the days, weeks and months can pass by. I can barely believe that in a week, it will be August.

I think that’s what scares me the most about time and feeling the tensions of the shortness and longevity of a year because then it might just be how my life slips away in front of me without being able to accomplish all my dreams.

Today started with a hike with my friend and her dog. We got in almost 10,000 steps (per my phone which might not be the most accurate) before noon. We also got a great picture of a waterfall that I never knew existed. Will this memory come up on my Facebook in a year and I’ll remember this day fondly? Would I remember it without the social media reminder?20160727_102459.jpg

Are you getting more excited or more anxious as you approach 26? Did you keep up with the Birthday Bucket List? What things have you achieved and which goals are you still striding towards? Do you still like going into work?

Overall, I’m doing just fine. Starting to approach more of the adult things in life like buying a home. Dating isn’t anything special but I don’t really stress out too often. My friends are still amazing and I’m glad I’ve been able to keep so many contacts current in my life.

Best of luck to myself over the next 365 days. Who knows what will happen but I am surely curious to see the end result.

-Rach

Trip Planning

A girl that I worked with at my previous job just got back from what looked like a magical solo vacation. I’m not 100% sure where she went but I see that there were beaches, great food and what looked to be like a great time.

I have done some solo vacationing… for my 22nd birthday, I went to Montreal on my own for 4 or 5 days. And while I was alone, I wasn’t lonely.

So my wonderful friend’s latest instagram posts have re-inspired me to look at doing some trip planning. I have full time hours at my job and a flexible schedule that includes a week off per month (but before you hate me, in exchange, I work weekends and night shifts haha). So I’m trying to plan a trip within a week. This has left some of my options somewhat limited but I think it can be done.

My latest destination in mind? Iceland. At the beginning of March.

There are a few reasons for choosing this country. One of them being that this country is incredibly safe which would mean that my mother would not be overly concerned with me being by myself. Another of them being that there seems to be enough to do within a 5 day period that I wouldn’t be stretching myself thin but will still be able to get a great experience out of those five days. As much as I would love to see other parts of Europe, I think I am going to try to save those for the summer or early fall when I would be able to enjoy the weather more. Iceland has a climate a lot like Canada so it wouldn’t be a total shock. Another reason for the timing would be in order to see the northern lights. For some reason, this is just something that I really want to see soon. Iceland is also a great country for hiking and beautiful landscape pictures, even though it’s cold. Even though it’s cold though, don’t be shocked if I go swimming in one of those thermal baths! How cool would it be to say you went swimming outside in March? I think it would be awesome!

I’ve been reading, pinning and Googling random and different phrases about Iceland to see what adventures I should choose to do and what the cost might be. I’ve used Tripomatic as a way to organize myself along with finding other peoples’ blogs about adventuring in Iceland. I found a great review about a Hostel which is a cheap(er) means of sleeping and showering and a way to meet other people. There also seems to be quite a few tours that will come pick up at the hotel in the capital city so I’m still debating about the necessity of renting a car. Flights look to be very reasonable but the rest of the shopping and food in the country is pricey but hopefully worth the experience. It’s amazing how the act of planning a trip can be as exciting as doing it.

Maybe it’s a combination of being restless and the wanting of a new years’ resolution but planning this trip has made me feel more grown up and looking forward to something. Between getting my new job in the middle of the year last year and getting used to shift work, I wasn’t able to travel anywhere last year. I’m hoping that 2016 and onward will let travelling be a possibility. And even if I don’t have as many friends in the same position, both monetarily and schedule wise, that’s not going to stop me from exploring different cultures and getting to know myself. My friend posted about the importance of travelling alone to get to know yourself and though she’s a year younger than me, her wisdom reminded me the importance of using my time and money for myself.

Any readers have any recommendations of things to do in Iceland in March?