She was what most would call an optimist. She showed up most places with a bubbly nature and a smile across her face. She tried to see the best in every situation. Even when it wasn’t a favourable outcome, she found an unexpected good that came from the surprise or disappointment. It wasn’t always blind optimism and sometimes she was jaded but nonetheless, she wanted to think the best of people. She wanted to give people a chance.
She won an award in high school for being positive in light of difficult situations. The teacher that nominated her for was probably too aware of what was actually going on in her life. She went everyday to school with her head held high even though her father suddenly passed away, her sister was fighting with their mom and her mom was barely eating a meal. She maintained this motivation into university and into the workforce. She just wanted it all to be worth it one day. What it would look like to be “worth it” is still a work in progress but she learned the lesson early that life is what you make it and she didn’t see the point in not enjoying life. Even though a dark cloud seemed to follow her from time to time (particularly at work when the desk would blow up when she came too close haha).
Sometimes she would get sad. It was mostly on days that she was alone for too many hours (it was the one thing that reminded her how she really was an extrovert). She could spend a whole day off alone with a book, get lost inside of it, only to be sad when it was over. It made her feel like she was reading what others did with their lives and not fully living her own. She truly noticed how she was defined by her job.
Hope made her feel like her life was filled with possibilities and maybe that was her eternal downfall. To choose something meant denying something else. She was nervous about making the right decision – something about the Type “A” personality within her. She tried to calm herself that even if the best decision wasn’t made, there would be something good that would come from the situation.
She always had a back up plan. That was where you could tell that she wasn’t a blind optimist – she was aware of some of the risks associated in her life and felt better when she had something ready to counteract any negative experience. That was her best way of making sure she wasn’t going to feel a negative impact because she had another ace up her sleeve.
I think I’m losing my mind now, it’s in my head
Darling I hope that you’ll be here when I need you the most
So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me down
Don’t let me down
This was day three of the daily inspiration challenge. I know it’s been about three weeks but between my 12 hour shifts and trying to travel plan (I have 2 trips in the next 2 months so I’m trying to work all of the overtime, plan my trip and maintain my life haha).
Ultimately, this was a bit of a third person autobiography haha. I was trying to write about myself in a more objective manner. I like to think that I’m a positive and hopeful person but there are breaking points to hope. For me, I think it’s the limitless possibilities. I don’t like making decisions because it inevitably means I’ve decided against something else. Nonetheless, I remain hopeful that the end situation will be good. If it’s not good, then it means it isn’t over yet.
And the lyrics fit in with the word (I realized this after I started writing my post) and it’s a song with which I have recently become quite obsessed.