The Politics of Dating

So I had a second date last night. And for the most part, I think I would call it a success.

Yet… There were a few high levels of tension while we discussed gender equality, liberalism and some of the politics of war and life. And a lot of it came from him having an answer for everything – looking at it as a debate versus discussion. Thinking that he needed to prove that he was right rather than listen to a different opinion and maybe open his mind.

Per Webster’s dictionary…

Debate:

  • : a discussion between people in which they express different opinions about something

There are differences with how the mind works and I think that greatly determines what kind of education you seek and what subject matters you look to review. But I like to think that I don’t see one as being more “useful” than the next. There are aspects of my degree that are probably somewhat useless in life but out of the context of the workplace or in the context of a different workplace, I’m sure the same arguments can be made about other math equations.

There are also differences with types of work that people get involved based on their interests.

Me personally? I wanted to be in the first responder. I wanted to work in the heat of emergencies.

That is not for everyone.

I would almost love to see this guy try to take one 911 call.

AKA I don’t think it would go very well.

It’s not for everyone. And there are aspects of my job that you can’t teach people – you either can deal with some of the pressures or you can’t. And I don’t want to discount what he does (which I will admit, I haven’t asked because it doesn’t sound like something that would really interest me). But I just wish that he would maybe hint that he sees the differences in what we do or how we think but that not being a bad thing.

Again, this is just my interpretation and my memory, which is inherently biased. But it’s also the basis for how I’m feeling which is (according to many of the rom-coms I’ve sat through) an important aspect of a relationship.

At the end of it all, it was still not one of my worst dates but I’m definitely not texting first. And per the advice of some of my friends who I’ve consulted, I’ll be on alert for any other major differences of opinions and beliefs.

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One thought on “The Politics of Dating

  1. Love your definition of debate versus discussion — so true. Here in the U.S. where I live, discussion seems almost impossible as people get livid if you disagree or take it personally, as though we all must be on the same side, or else.

    Like

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